


Deja vu

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: What if John had misjudged things, what if she didn't want what he wanted ?.
Relationships: Kayleigh Kitson & John Redmond
Kudos: 4





	Deja vu

" Here we are then, home sweet home "

" It might be home, but it ain't sweet, not unless you were brought up in Mogadishu "

" How about Ancoats?" John asked, smiling. 

" Near enough "

" So ?"

" So "

" Have you had time to think ?"

" All I've done is think John, I can't sleep for thinking, I'm not used to it "

" And ?"

" My brain hurts "

" Stop avoiding the issue babe, have you decided ?"

" Yes "

" Yes you've decided or you've decided yes ?"

" Yes I've decided ?"

" And ?

She really didn't need to answer, John knew her body language, the subtle nuances, the facial expressions, he knew the answer before she spoke.

" John I ……."

" Bloody knew it " John sighed.

" Let me finish please ?"

" Why, the answers no isn't it ?"

" It's not as cut and dried as that John "

" Of course it is "

" Please John, let's not argue, let's finish today as friends "

John looked at her and smiled.

" You're right as usual, above all we're friends aren't we eh ?"

" I do love you you know, John, I honestly and truly do "

" But not enough ? "

" Not for what you want, no "

" It doesn't have to be sexual, it could be platonic ,we could…"

" Listen to yourself John, that's not what you want, and it's not what I want , that's for sure "

" I want what you want babe"

" No you don't , not really "

" I want the family, the estate car, the labradoodle, the whole shebang, just like you do "

" It's true, I want the big wedding, a whole bunch of kiddies, and the perfect partner "

" The dream man ?"

She gently stroked his cheek.

" You are a lovely man John, a good man, the ideal husband, the man of some woman's dreams"

" But not yours ?"

" No John, you belong in someone else's dream, someone more deserving "

" I thought that you and I had that special something, you know ?"

" We do, how many mixed sex friendships do you know who have as much fun as us, share as much as us, and enjoy each others company as much as we do eh ?"

" Not many granted "

" None that I know of "

" Right enough "

There was a long pause

" I'm sorry if I let you think we had a future John, that wasn't my intention, I wouldn't hurt you like that "

" I listen you know, I know what your dreams were, all your aspirations, and I must admit I thought I could just slip in and have them come true for you "

" You said for me, not for us John, It needed to be for us " 

" I meant for us "

" No you didn't, you were willing to sacrifice for me and I appreciate it I really do "

" I just thought, ……..I don't know what I thought to be honest "

" You thought I was your future eh ?"

" I know, I know, I guess I was seeing things that weren't there, hoping against hope "

" John, I love you like I said before, you mean more to me than any other man, and I wish,, really really wish that I could commit like you want, but I can't. It's not because I think I can do better, I probably never will, and truth be told, I will probably look back on tonight, sometime in the future, and wish to god I'd said yes, I want us to be a proper couple, but I can't, I really just can't "

" I won't say I'm not disappointed, but I'm a big boy I'll get over it "

" Work won't suffer will it, I mean we see each other every day, you being the boss an all ? "

" Only because you let me be " John forced a weak smile.

She patted him on the thigh.

" Not that it's much consolation for you but I almost said yes "

" Almost ?"

" If I had said yes it would have been so as not to hurt you, I don't want to hurt you John, not ever, not now and definitely not in years to come, and that's how this would end John, you hating me and hating what we'd become "

" That wouldn't happen babe "

" Sure of that are you ?"

" I could never hate you "

" John you're a good guy, a nice guy, but I'm not right for you, and inside you know that,I'm too impulsive, too live now pay later for you "

" No you're not "

" I so am John, I know I am and so do you, go on admit it "

" I like a bit of unpredictability "

" Oh you liar, you're the most ordered, organised man I've ever met"

" Give over "

She grabbed his leg and unceremoniously lifted his foot into her lap.

" Hold up you daft bitch, I'm not a bloody contortionist "

" See" she said, pulling up his trouser leg " Friday socks "

" It is friday "

" So it is, Mister predictable "

" Means nowt "

" Means a lot about how different we are "

" Your knickers have the days of the week on them "

" Aye, but I don't wear them in sequence John, if I feel like a pink pair, sod the day, pink it is "

" I do love you you know, time was that would have been enough "

" I know John, and it still will be, for someone else "

" Look love, I hope this hasn't soured things between us, friendship wise ?"

" No, not as far as I'm concerned, you ?"

" God no, you're still my good friend "

" I'm glad of that John, that was one of the things that worried me most "

" I'm not a bloody teenager with a crush babe, I can accept things as they are , it would have been nice, but it's not to be, so much as I'm disappointed, its business as usual "

" No awkwardness "

" Of course not "

A light going on in the house drew John's attention.

" Your brother back is he ?" John nodded towards the red brick building. 

" Aye, came home yesterday "

" That was a quick three months "

" I don't think he sees it that way "

" No probably not "

" So ?"

" So ?"

" Before I get out , I need to know we're okay " she squeezed his hand.

John sighed.

" I won't lie, I'm disappointed but, we're fine "

" Still picking me up for work ? "

" You're taking the piss now eh ?"

" What ?" She said, looking shocked.

" I'm joking you daft bitch , of course I'll still pick you up, I couldn't travel on my own now , I like company, come on I'll walk you to the door" 

" No need for that John "

" I insist, it's like bloody Beirut around here "

" Don't exaggerate Redmond "

" I'm not kidding, I'm surprised some little ned didn't nick me bloody wheels while we were sitting here "

They walked to the door.

" You are gonna find the one soon John "

" Oh aye " John smiled.

" Know how I know ?"

" Pray tell "

" Because men as good as you always end up with the perfect woman, you can afford to be choosy "

John chuckled. 

" I'm serious John, she will find you, and unlike me, she won't let you walk away, ever "

" Aye well , I'll have to take your word for it ,cause I can't see it "

" I promise John it will happen "

" Thanks "

" I'm serious "

" I mean thanks for letting me down gently " 

" That's what friends do "

She lifted his hand and kissed it.

" Night John " 

" Night love "

He left her on the doorstep.

" Drive safe John "

" Will do "

" See you tomorrow "

" Bye "

" John?" She shouted, just as he was about to get into the car.

" What ?"

" I was serious , she is out there waiting for you "

" So you said "

" And I'll keep saying until you believe me, night night "

" You too, night night Donna"

Five years later.

" So how do you know Donna then ?" Kayleigh asked as they dissected the wedding invitations.

" Eh ?" 

" How do you know Donna ?"

" Eh,...... I worked with her mam when I first started ont YTS, "

" Her mum that died ?"

" Aye……………."


End file.
